Losing Mika

Nobody wants to think about the «D» word. Unfortunately, it's part of life and most pet owners will have to experience the pain of losing a four-legged friend, whether by accident, after an illness or because of old age. 

Losing a pet is not easy - believe me, I know. I lost my beloved 8 years old Mika to spleen cancer on November 25, 2007. Mika was a lab mix. I loved the way she «sang» a happy song whenever we were about to go out and how she sled down snow hills on her belly, but what made her truly special is much simpler than that: soft, trusting eyes and a wagging tail. Period. If unconditional love were portrayed, that is what it would look like. And isn't it what we enjoy most about our dogs? 

In love, travelling light is all too rare. When we lose a pet, we lose a unique relationship that starts fresh every day, with renewed joy and affection. We lose a four-legged best friend, child and teacher all at the same time. And that's rough.  

Without Mika, my home felt empty. I felt heartbroken and disorganized. At first, I couldn't meet my deadlines at work, so I asked my clients for an extension because of a «family crisis». (And I still wonder why society doesn't automatically grant days off to people who lose a pet, like it does when they lose a human member of the family.) 

The only way I found to express my sorrow was to go out in the back yard and sketch a giant heart in the snow in one of Mika's favourite spots. I also made it through with plenty of rest and the help of friends. I questioned myself a lot: did I really do everything I could to save her? What if I had changed her food? What if I had helped her to exercise more? Was she peaceful now? Oh, the horrible doubt! 

Since some of my schedule revolved around Mika's outings and feedings, I had to learn a new routine. It felt odd and meaningless at first. Walking by myself was no fun at all! I kept at it anyway. Seeing photos of her on my refrigerator door also helped to ease the pain during the first weeks. Although I couldn't be with her anymore, catching a glimpse of my Snow Queen's beaming «smile» felt comforting. 

As I write this, I realize it's been close to a year since Mika passed away. Although the giant heart I sketched in the snow melted in the spring, I know my memories of her will last a lifetime... as they will for all of us who have lost a pet.

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 Five tips about grieving 

1.      Take your time. Grieving tends to go back and forth. It can take months or even years for some people. Be patient and take gentle care of yourself during this process.

2.      Create your own rituals to mourn your pet. Hold a ceremony, write about her, create a scrapbook or painting, light up a candle on her anniversary, etc.

3.      Seek out support. Talk about your feelings with your family and friends or with your vet, or visit online support groups.

4.      Acknowledge your pain. It's a well known fact that the bond we have with our pets is very deep. This means that the pain of this loss can be deep too.

5.      Trust that grieving is a process and that eventually, your heart will open up again. After all, that is one of the great lessons that pets are here to teach us.

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 Life goes on

If your pet passed away and you feel ready to adopt again, here are two charming companions waiting for a loving home: 

Garo is a very active one-year old dog. He knows basics commands but his education needs to be polished. He enjoys the company of other dogs, but would prefer a cat-free home. Garo can also be around kids older than 10.

Trèfle, a one-year old cat, arrived at the shelter after getting out of the claws of a predator. This lovely cat is gentle and very affectionate and loves people and other pets equally.

For more information about these pets, contact the SPCA Laurentides-Labelle at (819) 326-4059 . You can also meet Garo and Trèfle, as well as other lovely pets, seven days a week, between 1 p.m. and 6 p.m. at 355 Demontigny in Ste-Agathe-des-Monts.